Help parents and caregivers navigate the tricky world of device controls.
As kids' screen use continues to increase, we're all concerned about the impact. And as students increasingly use screens at school, finding balance between devices in the classroom and at home is only getting more challenging. It's possible you've had parents and caregivers come to you with concerns or looking for advice about how to set limits and enforce them. Ideally, they'd love a solution that feels finite and definitive, like parental controls.
Though the types of parental controls vary in scope, setup, and price, you can offer helpful guidance beyond just brands. First and foremost, a foundation in digital literacy and well-being is an essential companion to any device controls, so if your school doesn't yet offer any kind of digital citizenship program, that's a great initial step. Beyond that, there are other factors families need to consider, as parental controls aren't always the quick fix that caregivers expect.
Below you'll find tips to share in conversation with parents and caregivers, and notes you can copy and paste into written communications sent home.
In Conversation with Caregivers
Question: I'm worried my kid has too much screen time. Should I use parental controls?
There's no simple answer or easy fix. Parental controls work well for some families and not for others. There are a variety of factors that determine how effective they are. So, before using parental controls, here are some essential considerations:
- No device controls are foolproof. There are loopholes and workarounds for every tech-based device control software or hardware.
- Kids are way ahead of us when it comes to tech, and they often find ways to get around tech-based controls. Their use can also push concerning behaviors underground.
- Parental controls used in isolation don't encourage self-regulation.
- Independence is always our final goal as caregivers. Ultimately, we want our kids to use technology in ways that support their digital literacy and well-being as they grow up and are on their own. To that end, we need to model and teach skills that support this independence.
- Consider your kid's and family's characteristics and needs.
- For example: Is your kid a risk taker? Easily scared or upset by certain content? Do your other obligations mean that you're often away when kids are on devices at home?
- There's no substitute for a positive caregiver/child relationship.
- Open communication, trust, and the space to learn from mistakes are all crucial components of how kids develop healthy digital habits. Caregivers are the most powerful parental control.
- There are settings and controls on most devices, apps, and consoles. If you're looking for additional features, there are a variety of third-party options with varying degrees of visibility, filtering, alerts, and tracking.
If families want to move forward with parental controls, here are some next steps:
- Decide how you'll support your kid's development of self-regulation.
- Since parental controls generally aren't teaching tools, it's important to consider where and how kids will be taught healthy media habits and a self-sustaining practice.
- Consider your purpose for using parental controls.
- What are you most concerned about? Are you looking for ways to control time and content, to monitor online behaviors, or something else?
- What level of control and visibility do you want, keeping in mind a child's developmental need for privacy as they get older?
- How much do you want to spend, and how comfortable are you with setting up these tools?
- Talk to your kid(s).
- Using parental controls shouldn't be a secret. Talk to your kid(s) about why you've decided to use them, how you'll use them, if there's a plan to phase them out over time, and what your expectations are.
- For every control, there are online instructions to exploit loopholes/get around them. Avoid a technological cat-and-mouse power struggle by not relying too heavily on tech-based controls.
Question: How do I set up parental controls?
Because a wide variety of device controls are available, there are lots of different setups. Also, the features and setup instructions frequently change, so depending on the hardware/software, you may need to update settings regularly.
Many developers keep their instructions up to date as features evolve. Most video game consoles have their own embedded parental controls, and their websites have instructions for setup. This is also true for home networks and routers, but those only apply while kids are on the home Wi-Fi. And streaming services (like Netflix and Disney+) also offer their own settings and controls. There are free device-based controls included on iOS, Android, and Amazon phones and tablets, so check these out to see if they cover your needs:
Though these are not endorsements or recommendations, here are just a few other options if you're looking for additional features:
Some individual platforms have also added embedded controls or monitoring:
Copy & Paste Tips
Thinking about using parental controls? Consider these factors first:
- No device controls are foolproof. There are loopholes and workarounds for every tech-based device control software or hardware.
- Parental controls by themselves don't encourage self-regulation. Teaching and modeling digital literacy and well-being are critical to build skills that support independence.
- Consider your kid's and family's characteristics and needs. Every child is different, and one family's values or situation might not match another's.
- There's no substitute for a positive caregiver/child relationship. Open communication, trust, and the space to learn from mistakes are all crucial in how kids develop healthy digital habits.
- Settings and controls are included on most devices, apps, and consoles. If you're looking for additional features, there are a variety of third-party options with varying degrees of visibility, filtering, alerts, and tracking.
- Consider your purpose for using parental controls. Be clear about what you want to accomplish, which will help you make an informed decision.
Talk to your kid(s) about it. Using parental controls secretly can break trust and drive unwanted/unsafe behaviors underground.